first entry.

Dear issue management,

today was another day. (well Spain brought home the glory!)

but it still turned out a bad day.

...

i know right?

i was late, SO YOU MUST'VE PRESUMED, i kinda missed out my whole 'last minute oral catch-up' thing? well fact is i did.

damn, first mess up.

then, it came to the almost major, (in fact, THE MAJOR MESS UP)

went to YTSS and got a shck when i saw this huge cow sitting right in front of me(known to be my examiner)

freaked out, you really couldn't possibly figure i'd still be okay.. right?

well, so the oral was 'perfectly' messed up.

MENTOR OF YOUR LIFE?

cmon, seriously? you askin me that? IN TAMIL? man you must've been kidding.

went on not knowing what i was talking about. =(

feel sad? it's an understatement, friend. feel free to feel horribly disappointed and miserable for me.

the brown lady's talking this nowhere.

so the oral part's over. and yes, i meant the major mess up part.

FINAL MESS UP OF THE DAY.

chua.

keith chua.

okay seriously, i didn't know what his problem was, but he's explaining it out.

sorry dude, you must've thought i didnt care or sth. you've got it wrong. i care. but my actions and expressions mix up, and you take it heavy on your side, i don't know how to handle your fragility.

sara and i felt extremely awkward. but we kept quiet. i felt helpless, moreover, AIMLESS. no clue where we were heading to.

boarded the bus. i went home.

chua didnt send me back.

are you kidding me?

absolutely not. =)

WELL, technically that was the final mess up but this, took me by shock.

so yeahh, in all the dilemma that was already going on, we decided that we head to Harvey Norman to get sara'a whatever. (dude, you cant blame me for forgetting what he bought! i wasn't particularly paying attention to that!)

i saw Lexmi.

yes yes, that hyper, fully maximized girl who was always running around, being so full of energy.

that girl.

i saw her after 4 years! and i expected to hear AWESOME stuff.

i was wrong.

i felt perturbed after the meet.

she told me she caged herself. for reasons.

psychological reasons.

that was when i accessed broader terms.

to put it short, she said she felt the fear of human beings. of people around.

wow. people change. i mean, she definitely is a clear example.

ACCEPTANCE. that's the main factor that was talked about in the course of this conversation.

this, is not a fad. it was reality. HER reality.

my heart sank deep after i saw her.

te girl who was once all hyped up, had now been brought deep into just being by herself. it really felt so miserable.

if only i could change it all.

awkward?

i know.

imma pray for you, lex. i hope God changes your heart and turns you back to His light.

at the end of the day, i realise that Jesus is surely a friend who walks in when the world has walked out on you. hold your faith strong, Lex.

i pray you will.